Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ron Castillo Gold Rum

Ron Castillo Gold Rum retails for approx $10 a liter. It is distilled by Castillo Distilleries in Puerto Rico. It is gold rum distilled from molasses bottled at 40% alcohol by volume.

Typically, I avoid drinking rum out of bottles not emblazoned with a naval officers image or named after a Hispanic slum lord, but for all I know Ron Castillo could own a couple of crack stacks so I let it slide and grabbed a bottle from the bottom shelf. As a precaution, my first drink of Castillo Gold contained at least 40% cola. My maritime mistress (Mister?) Admiral Nelson might be a bit jilted to hear this, but that drink and the subsequent heavier version were delicious. Admiral Nelson is the rum standard for me based on price and naval hierarchy (Admirals outrank Captains, even in the ass backwards royal British Navy).

This might be the time to mention that Castillo is mighty cheap; even Ron Diaz’s slum tenants could also afford Castillo’s modest offerings. Like the Titanic’s captain, I ignored all warnings and headed for a straight Castillo on ice for subsequent drinks. They tasted like a UFC mat after the third under card. Castillo was rightfully put to the sword as a series of brave souls put it to the teeth. For those unaware, “putting it to the teeth” means taking a pull directly out of the bottle

While all involved were a bit popped already, this shit has more fire power than a paranoid Maurice Clarett. Unlike the overweight former Ohio State back, who may have stayed at OSU had they been willing to pay him enough, Castillo will be heard from again, if only because the stuff is cheaper than Donald Sterlingafter he spends his hooker budget.
*6.5/10 Thompsons


  1. Cheap? You don't know the half of it! In MD, I know a spot I can get 750ml of this for $3.99! :)